"When
most trees drop their leaves, the color is brown, but when the
Talisay tree drops its leaves the color is red." I say to my
six younger siblings listening rapturously to me while sitting
under the shade of the huge Talisay tree in our front yard. We're
playing school and I'm the teacher.
"Time
for recess," I say as I gather up a huge pile of the fallen
red leaves and toss them up into the air. They float lazily down,
as we shout and jump trying to catch them, before they touch the
ground.
In
the distance, I see a big black car rolling slowly down the dusty
dirt road at the end of town. It parks under the shade of another
Talisay tree, which stands on the roadside across from the little
store. An unusual looking man in a white suit gets out of the car.
He pauses in front of it for a while. He tilts his head back and
looks up at the bright sun overhead. It is high noon. He removes
his white suit coat and rolls up his black shirtsleeves. His arms,
hands and fingers are covered in a pelt of thick black, hair. It
looks like the arm of an animal. The gold watch he wears on his
wrist glints in the sun, as he removes a white handkerchief from
the inside pocket of his jacket. He shakes it open, takes off the
white hat and wipes the handkerchief over his huge red head, face
and neck. With a shiny gold lighter he lights up a long brown
cigarette and heads over to the little store on the other side of
the road.
A
group of men are seated at a table. They are playing cards and
drinking gin. One of them is Rommel, the moneylender. He is seated
at the head of the table wearing dark sunglasses with his shirt
raised over his big protruding belly. He laughs loudly as he lays
his cards down and rakes in the pile of money lying in the center
of the table. He downs his gin, gets up and stuffs the money into
his pocket, as he is leaving the table. He walks out to the road
and shakes hands with the stranger in white. Together they start
walking up the dusty road towards our hut.
"Get
up and go inside. They're coming this way," I say to my
siblings, as I snatch the crown of red Talisay leaves from my head
and run into the hut.
"What's
going on? What's up?" they ask. "Why do we stop
playing?" they protest.
"Be
quiet," I say irritated, as I peer out of the door and watch
Rommel and the man in white approach.
I
don't like Rommel. He's nasty and he stinks. Mama is always
borrowing money from him. That's why he sometimes stays overnight
in our hut. Often times I could hear the two of them making sounds
in the other room. Once, when I got up in the middle of the night
to go to the bathroom, I accidentally walked in on them. I saw
them naked in the bed. I didn't know what to do. I just stood
there staring with my mouth wide open. The next moment mama was
all over me, whipping and cursing me. I tried to explain to her
that it was an accident, but she just kept beating me and made me
return to the other room. I sat through the entire night holding
myself, terrified of the consequences of what would happen if I
peed my pants. The night was very long and I couldn't hold myself
any longer. I had to let it go. In the morning I was scolded and
beaten again. This was not the first time. Mama often whipped me
when she had a man over. Sometimes whomever she was with would
beat me too.
Some
boys gather around Rommel and the stranger in white. They follow
them up the road laughing along side of them. The stranger smiles
at the boys, reaches into his pocket and toss them some coins.
They land on the ground and the children all scramble after them
kicking up dust. Rommel and the stranger continue walking. They
stop at the broken gate in front of our small hut. The yard is
cluttered with red Talisay leaves, bits of plastics and tin cans.
The dogs bark loudly as Rommel pushes open the rickety gate and
walks in. Quickly, I hide out of sight behind the door. Rommel
isn't afraid of the dogs and casually walks by them. The man in
white follows. Rommel knocks at the door. I don't answer it. He
knocks again much harder. Shyly, I come out from behind it and let
the two men in. They enter and Rommel turns to the stranger.
"This
is the one," he says to him.
The
unusual man smiles down at me revealing a gold tooth. I drop my
gaze to the floor and the man in white takes a seat, pulls out his
handkerchief and dries off his sweaty forehead. I can smell his
cologne.
"Get
your mama." Rommel snaps. Quickly, the eldest boy heads out
of the door.
The
five other children stay behind with me staring shyly at the man
in white. Soon mama enters the house, dark and sweaty from working
in the hot sun. She sees the stranger.
"Get
him some water," she bids me.
Right
away I do as I am told. I come back with a glass of water and
timidly set it next to him. He does not touch it.
"This
is the man I was telling you about," says Rommel to mama.
"He recruits young girls to work as housemaids in
Manila."
"I'll pay two hundred dollars for her, says the stranger. How
old is she? he asks.
"She's twelve and she's a good strong worker," says mama
eagerly.
The
stranger looks over to me standing in the corner, which I've
backed myself into. He waves me to come over to him. Reluctantly,
I move closer. He reaches out and grabs both my wrists. His touch
is repulsive! I feel my heart pounding in my chest as he runs his
fat, sweaty hands all over my body. I'm about to explode. I'm so
frightened. He then holds my face in his hand and squeezes my
mouth open. He looks at my teeth.
"Good,"
he says and he releases me.
Quickly,
I scurry back to the corner with tears streaming down my face. I
watch helplessly as he reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls
out a wad of money. He removes a gold clip, flips through the
bills and places two one hundred dollar notes on the table. Mama
grabs for the money, but the stranger stops her.
"Not
so fast," he says. He reaches into his jacket pocket and
pulls out a piece of paper and a pen, which he lays on the table.
"Sign here," he says.
"What does it say," mama asks Rommel.
"It's nothing," he says. "It's just a piece of
paper saying she can work."
Mama
picks the pen up from the table and puts her mark on the paper.
Then she grabs the two one hundred dollar notes, folds them and
tucks them into her pocket. The man in white folds the paper and
puts it into his jacket pocket.
Rommel
smiles. "Get your things," he says.
The
stranger gets up from his seat, lights another long brown
cigarette and walks out of the door into the yard. Rommel follows.
I
am left in the house with mama and my six siblings.
"Mama,"
I manage to say, as I stand in the middle of the room in a stupor.
Mama
is searching for a plastic bag for me to put my things into. She
finds one and comes over to me. She rattles it in my face shaking
me out of my daze.
"Get
your stuff," she says.
Confused,
I move and go into the little room. What is happening? I ask
myself trying to remember where my things are. My few possessions
are gathered together in a corner of the room. I pack a blouse, a
skirt, a dress and a dirty, naked doll with golden tangled hair
and one glass eye. I embrace it and start to cry.
"Stop
it!" mama yells at me. "You're not a child. It is time
for you to go out and get a job."
I
stand numbed, listening to her, as the room swirls around me. What
is happening? I keep asking myself over and over again.
Mama's
voice pierces my thoughts.
"It
is your duty and obligation as daughter to sacrifice for your
family. You're ungrateful! Do you want us to starve to
death?" she yells.
Sadly,
I shake my head clutching the doll tightly to me. I wipe my tears
away. Mama picks up the plastic bag with my things in it, takes
the broken doll away from me and tosses it into the bag.
I
walk to the door, tears still streaming down my face. Mama opens
it. But before I descend the stairs I turn to look at my siblings.
I know they are also crying, but no tears fall from their eyes. We
say good-bye to one another with our thoughts. I turn to descend
the stairs where Rommel and the stranger in white are waiting.
What is happening? I continue to ask myself, as I walk slowly
behind them through the yard, pass the growling dogs and through
the rickety old gate to the dirt road. We walk down the road pass
the little store and go over to the big black car parked under the
red Talisay tree. People are watching. What are they saying? What
are they thinking? I am distracted by the red leaves falling all
around me. They flutter pass the darkly tinted windows of the
black car. I cannot see inside. Rommel opens the back door. I'm
stunned to see two young girls with plastic bags sitting there.
They look at me with sad expressions. I get in and Rommel closes
the door. The stranger in white gets in the front and starts up
the car. As we drive away, I turn to look out the back window. All
I can see through the dust and tears are red leaves falling, as I
leave behind my family and all that I know.
I
sit in front of a mirror applying make-up along with many other
young girls. Memories of my childhood infect my mind. All I can
see are red leaves falling, falling and falling…. We dress in
skimpy bikinis. Most of us are so young that our breasts are far
from filling the cups of the bras. Sly knocks at the door and
tells us it's time for the show. We are herded out onto the stage
and start to gyrate our small bodies to the beat of the music. A
man with pox marks on his face sticks a ten-dollar bill into my
panties. He's my third customer today. I get down from the stage
and lead him through the bar, give the mama san the money, go
through the door at the back, then up a narrow staircase. The
customer does not speak, but I can smell the alcohol on his
breath. We walk down the hall to my room. I open the door. We
enter. The broken doll with the tangled golden hair and one glass
eye lies in the middle of the bed. The customer picks it up and
throws it on the floor. I lie down on the bed and automatically
become the broken doll. Again, I remember red leaves falling and
with muted sounds, I cry "Mama."
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