Overcoming the Denial
"My daughter was sexually abused".
A fact which is extremely hard to come to terms with for most
parents. It took one of the mother's of a
survivor, four months and a number of counseling sessions before she
overcame the denial and faced the reality.
Another mother, who was more receptive to the reality, described to us
how her daughter had become increasingly withdrawn and reserved. When
she would ask her daughter what was wrong, the child would start to cry.
Now, after the girl has completed all of the counseling sessions, she
has returned to her old self, with plenty of smiles and laughter to
share.
Since February Stairway has offered counseling to 16 girls and their
families, who had fallen victim to a German pedophile residing on their
small island.
Stairway's
initial intervention in the case lies more than a year back, where
we pointed out to the local authorities that a German national was
operating some kind of program with several young girls as the
beneficiaries. The program was not registered anywhere and no local
social workers were involved. Bringing this to the attention of the
Department of Social Welfare and Development did not exactly make us
popular amongst the families who benefited from the presence of the
German. They were highly upset that we had shed any kind of suspicion on
this "supposed"
generous man.
The parents remained oblivious to the true character of their benefactor
for a long time. When the first of the girls disclosed about sexual
abuse 6 months later, she was met with denial. It was not until several
more of the victims came out with their disclosures, that the parents
realized what had been going on. Some still refused to believe their
daughters had been abused.
The story has not ended yet. The pedophile, Rene Havekost, is still at
large and has still has not been arrested. However, on the brighter side
of this sad story, all of his victims here in Puerto Galera have
graduated from their counseling with a more positive outlook on life.
They no longer feel the shame or guilt for what happened to them